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Articles/On-Permadeath-Pain-And-Loss.md

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+My game Tortuga will have permadeath; it’s actually one of the first design
+decisions I made. How to implement it, however, is another decision all
+together. 
+
+A while ago, before the implementation of hardcore mode, I was playing on a
+Minecraft server that boasted something close to permadeath: your account would
+be banned for 15 days, so long that it’s almost unavoidable that you’d lose all
+of your hidden items. This was a brutal server; the further you went from
+spawn, the more dangerous it became, not less. If the natural hazards didn’t
+kill you, another player would.
+
+I loved it.
+
+Although I haven’t been back to that server since I died for the last time, the
+experience will stay with me forever. I’d played and died on that server a few
+times, each time I had to wait for my ban to clear. I never really lost much,
+since I never survived for very long. Even today, in a single player world, I’m
+likely to die on the first night.
+
+After playing for a while, I began to understand the mentality needed to
+survive there. Always fear other people, never take risks, and never hoard
+valuable items if they could be better spent keeping you alive. One day, the
+last day I played, I found a hole in the ground that someone was obviously
+using as a “hidden” base. I tried to get in, always careful not to trigger any
+traps. However, while I was trying to get in, the owner came home.
+
+I was suddenly attacked from behind, I barely had enough sense to dig down,
+since they were wearing enchanted diamond armour. I had no chance against them.
+I thought I was safe, digging 10, 20, 30 meters down, but no, they poured lava
+down the hole and plugged it up. I was a gonner, and I knew it. I was futilely
+digging and thrashing around in what was now my tomb, about to lose my life.
+I’d survived for so long, only to lose it all by not keeping a lookout.
+
+When the game over screen flashed up, I screamed. I screamed, and screamed, and
+screamed. For 5 minutes, my mind was blank, nothing but hatred and pain and
+loss. I’m sure you’ve seen the video of the angry German kid who died in WoW,
+but have you ever actually experienced that pain? Have you ever worked so hard,
+and lost it all? 
+
+For days afterwards, that loss was all I could think about. Even now, that
+experience stays with me. What about that game, that server, invoked so much
+pain that I almost lost consciousness from screaming? Me of all people, who
+thought he was invincible?
+
+I’ve played games that have moved me, terrified me, made me fall in love and
+fight for the people that I care about. But never have I played a game that has
+made me feel pain and loss like that. I died that day. Me.
+
+Pain and loss are part of life, but not games. Permadeath seems like the
+obvious choice for creating a sense of loss for the player, but there are so
+few games with permadeath, and even fewer multiplayer games. Pain and loss can
+be conveyed in other ways, I’m sure anybody who’s played Final Fantasy 7 knows
+that, and some games are especially well suited to delivering that message.
+However, for a player to feel like they are the one who’s died, that is a
+challenge.